Scoliosis of the spine, and other things.

So I went to the chiropracter with my mother this morning. This guy has been helping my dad with his back problems for the past several months and he’s very good at what he does. So my mother got a treatment done that helped her out and what not, so I decided to ask him about my back. I told him I noticed this a few years ago that I don’t stand up straight and my body actually tilts to the side. My mother turned me around to show him and he says, ’scoliosis’ without hesitation. He said he’d have to check it out further but his best guess is scoliosis. Fantastic. I know what scoliosis is, however I’m not exactly sure what the dangers of it are. I’m doing some research right now to try and figure it out.

After that lovely trip we went to Petco to get dog and turtle food. When we went up to check out and I just happened to notice that the man checking us out was very cute. So he’s ringing up everything and I notice he is missing a hand. Or well, not missing one, he still has his pinky and his other fingers are little stubs. I thought about it, and seeing people with things like that makes me sad. Not because I feel they have a disadvantage to there life or anything, but I’m sure a lot of people are really self concious about it. I always want to tell them whatever the thing that’s ‘wrong’ with them isn’t a big deal, and it doesn’t bother me. I know if I had something like that I would be thinking all the time that ‘wow, they’re looking at me, they’re thinking -this- is so weird.’ On top of that, I found this guy attractive, and I was tempted to tell him so. I probably would’ve if my mother wasn’t there.

In other news, my mother and I went to Price Chopper after that and when we came home we found a birds nest that had fallen out of our tree. (I’m assuming so, anyways) I hope there weren’t any baby birds in it. I didn’t see any around the nest, maybe the birds were just in the process of building the nest and it got knocked out. Or maybe they had already hatched, learned to fly, and are now out enjoying the beautiful summer day because they no longer need a nest. That’s what I’m going to tell myself, anyway. I don’t really want to think about dead baby birds.

The picture is pretty poor quality, because I took it on my cell phone. Which reminds me that I really need to charge my camera. Anyways, you get the picture (literally).

Mm, I really hope those birds are okay. I don’t know why but every time I hear or see a dead bird I just feel like I could have done something. If I would have seen it fall, I could have picked it up and put it back in it’s nest. I could have done something.

My heart’s never in tune with anything I do.

I’m disappointed in the people I consider to be the closest to me. I’m surprised by they’re actions, to say the least. I don’t know how to handle it. A girl whose drama and negativity is driving me up the wall. Another who is completely naive to the way the world really is. And a boy whose sex drive is completely distorted. I’m tired of it, and I’m tired of how it’s effecting me. I hate letting others bring me down, but I feel so overwhelmed with the things that have and have not been happening. I feel myself spinning around the drain, and I’m too afraid to say anything.

But, I’m just as afraid not to.

I think feeling like this is due to being taken off my medication. What if I really can’t handle being off of it? I’m feeling like I used to feel. Alone, and empty.

I don’t know what to do with myself.